Some tips for becoming a ' Smart Household Manager'

 

Women have multiple roles to play in life, specially when a woman gets married and she also has a career. As and when you move ahead in life your roles and responsibility in career as well as family keeps on increasing. This is the time when a woman needs to become a 'Smart household Manager '.Also mums who are at home are busy in managing the lives of everyone at home; that no easy task. From my personal experience I would like to share few tips to become a Smart household manager. Some of my suggestion would hold true in Indian context only.

• The biggest mistake that stay-at-home moms make is not creating a schedule for the home. This means a schedule of activities for the kids that are home with you as well as a schedule for when you're going to get things done. Having no structure makes you put everything off until the last minute which creates stress. So sit down and make an actual schedule of what activities are going to happen when in your home on a daily, weekly and monthly basis. (Daily means knowing when everyone eats lunch, has nap time, play outside. Weekly is the days that you do laundry, run errands, attend play groups. Monthly is paying bills, planning holidays, etc.)

• Give responsibility to everyone else in the house. Just because you're the stay at home mom doesn't mean that you need to do it all yourself. Your kids should have chores because it helps build a sense of responsibility and the skills that they'll need to be adults. Do give some responsibilities to your spouse also.

• Try and save time from some of the activities in the house and take help from maids. Mainly on those work which are monotonous i.e. cleaning the house, dishes etc. You can use this saved time with your kids or in your personal grooming.

• If you are working then don't not hesitate to invest some amount of your salary in employing maids. Always remember that you by investing a small amount of money in getting HELP you can ensure a smooth and a stress free working of your house.

• In kitchen try and avoid investing time in chopping vegetables or making dough, cleaning kitchen table take HELP in this work and invest this time in making delicious and variety food for your family.

• Plan the menu of the week on weekends so that you can arrange , buy all groceries accordingly. That will save your time in last minute rush and give you a peace when your are at your work place

• Ironing clothes, daily cleaning, laundry are such activities that can be outsourced to a maid. But remember to be a Smart Manger and keep your eyes and ears open.

• If you have a bigger family, then you should take help in making chapattis or roti. This work once explained to the maid can be taken care. Only it requires your timely supervision.

• Do not try to be a perfectionist in your daily household work.

• Last but not the least, remember every woman has a right to look beautiful so don't not forget to devote some time in your personal care.

To effectively manage your home, you just need some basic organizational skills and the willingness to give yourself the credit you deserve. Take your role as home manager seriously and it'll run more smoothly, letting you enjoy it more. And everything will still get done!

Tips to Balance Work and Family Life

The title is a misnomer because balancing work and family life can never be achieved with ease. This takes a lot of juggling, planning, experimenting, emotional upheavals, professional compromises – among others. In other words it is one of the toughest things an adult would ever have to do.

Both family and work are glass balls, neither ball can be dropped without serious consequences. Thus balancing these two areas of responsibility can be particularly challenging. The following suggestions for achieving a good balance between work and family life.

• Be very organized - you will be amazed how much time you could save is you spend just 15 minutes every morning to prioritize and plan your day’s tasks. Ensure that you impose on yourself to be organized – both in your personal and professional life. A lot of time is wasted by doing things haphazardly.
• Do not try to be a perfectionist –Learn to say NO particularly at your boss, though sometimes even co-workers can be pretty painful. The ability to say ‘no’ would buy a lot of time that you would otherwise had to spend in doing things that you would not have wanted to do/ did not have time to do/ were not really qualified to do.
• Delegate -understand you cannot possibly be in two places at the same time and since you would need to spend at least eight hours at work, you need to work out alternatives for the time you are not there at home. Get a driver to drive your children/ spouse to where they need to be taken; get a cook, a relative, a friend or a neighbor who could supervise your children meal time (usually lunch) or leave them with their grandparents.
• Do two things at once – Sometimes multitasking helps in balancing work and family. Take children to work at occasions. While you work let them stack papers or take their coloring books along and let them do some creative work. Use your frequent flier miles to take an older child with you on a business trip.
• Get a better sleep – If you are well rested than you will be able to have more fun with your family.
• During breaks, call home to talk to your spouse and children. This will help your children feel your presence.
• Try and healthy as a healthy person can deal in a better way with stress and emotional ups and downs.
• If you’re on a business trip be closely in touch with your family. Talk to ever child individually. Discuss their homework and daily routine.
• When your work is through, stop. Don’t work more than you need to. Remember the spending quality time with your family is as important as your work.
• When chatting with your co-workers try and talk more about your family, your kids rather than discussing office politics.
• Enjoy quality time with your family – When you are with your family give them your full attention. Celebrate birthday’s anniversaries and festivals this helps in bringing closeness in the family.
• Try and have dinner with your entire family. This is the time when all can get together.
• Always have a contingency plan at your work place. Have some friends, relatives who can help you in case of emergency at your family front.
• Last but not the least Work to live, don’t live to work..

Remember, there is no single formula for balance. It is a personal decision how one combines spouse, children and career.

The Only Unsinkable Ship Is FRIENDSHIP

• When your heart has been broken, a best friend is the best band-aid for it.
• A good friend is my nearest relation.
• Best friend's family soon feels like your own.
• The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had
• Fate chooses your relations, you choose your friends.
• Best friend is more important than a boyfriend.
• True friendship has many memories, both good and bad, but all important.
• The best mirror is an old friend.
• When a best friend is happy, you find yourself happy too, even when it has nothing to do with you
• A mere friend will agree with you, but a real friend will argue.
• Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.
• Anyone can give advice, but a real friend will lend a helping hand.
• Friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.
• When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends
• Books and friends should be few but good.
• True friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance
• Friendship isn’t a big thing, its a million little things.

Tips For Happiness

Readers of this Post are suggested to read my earlier post '30 Things That Make you Happy'.You can find this post under May 09 archive or under the label My Journey Of life.


Happiness is a state of mind, therefore the real source of happiness lies in the mind, not in external circumstances.

• Surround yourself with others who are happy.
• This shall pass. When bad things happen, and you're having trouble accepting it, think to yourself the same thing the ancients did: "This, too, shall pass." And it will. And you'll survive.
• Follow your passions. If you do what you love to do, especially for a living, you will be extremely happy.
• Realize that you deserve it. Frame you mindset that you deserve happiness.
• Get inspired. Take time to read blogs or books or magazine articles about success stories related to what you want to do. It will get you energized.
• Celebrate small occasions or achievements. When you do something right, when you accomplish something, when you feel like it, reward yourself. Celebrate. Have fun, and pat yourself on the back. Also try and celebrate festivals, birthday’s, anniversaries this will give you happiness for those moments and happy memories to cherish later. That man is richest whose pleasures are cheapest.
• Meditation, exercise and healthy eating habits also helps one to find happiness.
• Jumping for joy is good a exercise.
• Limit your information intake, it will simplify your life.
• Spend quality time with family and loved ones.
• Don’t compare yourself with others. It is difficult, but try it. And realize that you are different, with different strengths.
• Try and be romantic .If you have someone special in your life then try and be romantic.
• Go outdoors. Instead of spending time with TV, internet, video games try and go out and appreciate nature, the beauty of the world around us, and the fun of physical activity.
• Help others. Try and offer your help to others you will find out how tremendously happy this will make you. You might even become addicted. Mark Twain said ‘The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.’
• There is no cosmetic for beauty like happiness.

Superiority Complex – A Personality Disorder

Readers Of this post are suggested to read my post Recognize your Inferiority complex …Causes, Signs & Ways to Overcome. You can find this post under the label My Journey of Life or July 09 Archive.

In our day to day life as we meet people suffering from Inferiority complex, same there are some of our friends, relatives, colleagues who suffer from superiority complex ‘having a very high opinion of oneself ‘.This is another type of subconscious personality disorder. These poor uplifted souls cannot control their own boasting, tendency to discredit others opinions, intentionally drawing attention of others. You should not mix superiority complex with confidence; some people have developed feelings of confidence in a certain field due to their real strength in it. You may feel very confident about public speaking, for example, if you’ve been practicing it for years; it doesn’t mean you feel superior on account of inner inferiority, it just means that you know and are confident that you’re good at it. Studies have suggested that almost every species having at least one case of Superiority Complex.


The problem with superiority complex is that it’s usually a direct result of an underlying inferiority complex; the subject is suffering from feelings of inferiority and thus compensates those feelings by acting superior. The problem with superiority complex is that although the person is one hundred percent sure he is inferior in some way, he still acts arrogantly. He may refuse to see a doctor for example as he feels superior to the doctor and will thus never get a proper treatment.

Many Presidents, priests, celebrities and distinguished scientists sometimes suffer from Superiority Complex.

Recognize your Inferiority complex Causes...Signs & Ways to Overcome

Eleanor Roosevelt said “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

In our day to day life we come across many friends, people who suffer from Inferiority complex. But actually they are not themselves aware that they suffer from this acute problem. It is often subconscious, and is thought to drive afflicted individuals to overcompensate, resulting either in spectacular achievement or extreme schizotypal behavior, or both. Inferiority complex can also be termed as low self esteem. An inferiority complex, in the fields of psychology and psychoanalysis, is a feeling that one is inferior to others in some way. Those with low self esteem are more likely to be depressed, irritable, or aggressive. They may also be more likely to have feelings of resentment, alienation, and unhappiness. Some reasons for this problem are:

• Family - The upbringing of the child plays a vital role in shaping his future. Sometimes parents unknowingly pass negative remarks on their child by calling them stupid, idot, fool. Also many a time’s parents end up comparing their own children. This family behavior leads to a slow nurturing of Inferiority complex in the delicate mind of the child.
• Surroundings- Being called names like lazy or stupid by teachers and peers. Not being a skilled player in the popular sport of your school might be a reason.
• Physical disabilities –Sometimes disproportional facial and body features also causes Inferiority complex.
• Social Causes – Race, economic status, religion, skin colour, and family might also lead to inferiority complex.

Signs of Inferiority Complex


• People who feel inferior “know” they have shortcomings; they do not like other people to point this out. They tend to perceive any form of criticism, regardless of how sensitively or constructively it is presented, as a personal attack. They are extremely sensitive to criticism.
• Some people are extremely desperate to hear good things about themselves. But some people refuse to hear any positive or flattering things about themselves because it is inconsistent with their own feelings.
• People who suffer from this complex often have the tendency to blame others to lessen their feeling of being inferior.
• Such kinds of people avoid social gatherings and if they are forced then they would avoid speaking thinking that they would end up showing their stupidity and dullness.
• These people are extremely scared of failures. So they avoid any participating in any competition or contest because as per their mindset they are suppose to come first or else they will end up showing their weakness to the world.
• People who do not feel good about themselves have trouble feeling good about anyone else

Ways to Overcome Inferiority Complex

Attempts at achieving and becoming superior will, no doubt, are of great benefit to your life, but it will only act as a fake crust to an already residing inferiority complex. Rather recognize your inferiority complex and work on it by changing your thoughts by changing your negative self talk, building confidence, try and build your corrupted self image & install new beliefs and also get rid of those labels of childhood like stupid, fool.

How To Feel Beautiful??????

The world is full of beautiful people and you are one of them. To look beautiful, you don’t need trendy clothes, designer handbags and stylish accessories, heavy cosmetics all you need is to give your body and your mind a little tender love and care.

Its true ‘Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.

Here are some things you can do to remind yourself that you're already beautiful.

• When you look in the mirror, smile and stand up straighter. Remember smile is an expensive way to change your looks
• ‘Taking joy in living is woman’s best cosmetic’
• Exercise! It makes you feel better about yourself as well as gives you more energy.
• Try & spend some time in the whole day to do in what you are good at. For example if you are good at craft then do some craft work.
• Making your surroundings beautiful, whether this mean decorating your room with fresh flower or writing positive quotes at places where you are bound to see in your home very often.
• Remind everyday yourself that you are important.
• Having good character is important to feel beautiful on the inside, if you make someone feel good, chances are, and you’ll feel good too!
• Wear the proper attire for different climates/weather. Fashion can be bought but style one must possess.
• Your life is what you make of it. If you make yourself out to be beautiful, then that's the way you live your life, so live you life to the fullest, most beautiful way possible, and that's the way you will feel!
• Treat yourself if not daily at least once in a week, Watch a movie, read a good book, go for a walk along the beach.
• Try and find personal characteristics that you are proud of…
• Have proper hygiene so you can have pride in your health that means you need to take good care of your body!
• Beauty is the promise of happiness.
• ‘Beauty - in projection and perceiving - is 99.9% attitude.’

Men vs Women

• Men make houses, women make home

• A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, or get the mail. A man will dress up for the following: weddings, funerals.

• Men like white hair because it shows their experience, women colors their hair to look young.

• Men are physically strong, women are mentally strong.

• Women finds aesthetics in everything, men are not able to understand the aesthetics.

• Men are the head of the family while women are the head of the household.

• Women love to go for shopping anytime, men avoids shopping as much as they can…

• A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. Whereas a woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

• If a woman is out driving, and she finds herself in unfamiliar surroundings, she will stop at a gas station and ask for directions Men consider this to be a sign of weakness. Men will never stop and ask for directions. Men will drive in a circle for hours, all the while saying things like, "Looks like I've found a new way to get there." and, "I know I'm in the general neighborhood. I recognize that 7-11 store."

I miss those days of…

• I miss those days of cycling from school to home with my friends
• I miss those day of catching butterflies & keeping it in my books
• I miss those days of playing hide & seek
• I miss those days of reading fairy tales,Nandan and Chandamama.
• I miss those days of watching Vikram & Betal on Saturday & Sigma on Sunday morning.
• I miss those days of Doordarshan.
• I miss those days of fighting with my sister for not cleaning our room.
• I miss those day of getting tired & sleeping on my books while doing homework
• I miss those days of my dreaming that one day I will grow up & will buy a sari for my mother from my money
• I miss those days of asking for pocket expense from my father.
• I miss those days of excitement for teachers day celebration in my school
• I miss the zero period of my school
• I miss the picnics of my school & family.
• I miss my new dress of my birthday given by my parents.
• I miss those days of getting scared from my school teachers.
• I miss my school lunch break where we use to share food together.
• I miss the first monsoon shower where I jumped & splashed water to my content.
• I miss those bedtime stories of my mother.
• I miss those trips to my cousin’s place during summer vacations.
• I miss my fights with my grandmother.

I miss those beautiful Childhood days………….with zero responsibility & infinite innocence!!!!!!!

I always wanted to be a Woman….

• Who is trustworthy….
• Who admires & praises other women
• Who doesn’t cry at her workplace
• Who can balance between family & career.
• Who never repents of being a woman.
• Who can be a lovable daughter, caring sister, adorable wife & responsible mother.
• Who is compassionate & gentle
• Who doesn’t make excuses at her workplace for not doing something because she is a woman.
• Who doesn’t criticize and blame men always. It is not necessary that you have to be anti-man to be a pro woman.
• Who wears an ornament of character & purity
• Who can be friends with men without giving a wrong impression or unwanted attention

Some I am…& some I try to be…………..

30 Things That Make You Happy…

1) Feeling Healthy
2) A good book………
3) Looking beautiful…
4) Cuddle & giggle of a child
5) Having your husband as your BEST FRIEND
6) A TAX return.
7) A smell of a clean sheets or a new book.
8) Summer sunset
9 ) Knowing your friends really care for you.
10) My mother kissing me in my forehead.
11) An unexpected solution to a misunderstanding.
12) Turning the pages of your album
13) Having a husband that’s trusts me.
14) Smell of mud after the first monsoon shower.
15) Watching babies sleep
16) Cleaning the house
17) Missing office after a long hectic routine.
18) Watching your favorite television program at the end of day.
19) The warmth you feel when you have been to help someone with a problem.
20) Receiving card or a call from an old friend who you haven't had contact with for years, just as if it was yesterday.
21) Recalling memories of childhood holidays
22) Flowers blooming in my garden that I planted myself.
23) Receiving an unexpected compliment
24) Being with our family
25) A hug from someone you love
26) Hearing my dad say "I'm proud of you" and knowing that he means it
27) To see your child grow
28) Enjoying the warm sunlight in a chilling winter.
29) No spam in your email
30) Memories of the smell of my Mom’s cooking.

30 lessons of life

1) Stay healthy. Someone has well said “Health is wealth”. Eat nutritious meals in proper portions. Drink plenty of water. Try to get 30 minutes of exercise daily. Get plenty of sleep.
2 ) Have a positive thinking. If you believe you can do it, most of the time, you really can.
3)Conversation or expressing yourself is a one of the most important aspect of life. Successful relationships require solid communication, use body language, appropriate tone of voice, and eye contact; be friendly and considerate of alternative viewpoints; persuade gently; listen, listen, listen.
4) Time heals all wounds… regardless of how you feel right now.
5) Marry a person who loves you, rather marrying a person whom you love.
6) Take lots of pictures. Someday you’ll be really glad you did.
7) Bad things do happen to good people.
8) Love has nothing to do with looks, but everything to do with time, trust, and interest.
9 ) Taking ownership of failure builds the foundation for success.
10) Your actions now create memories you will reminisce and talk about in your elder years.
11) No matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.
12) Two people can look at the same thing and see something totally different.
13) True friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance.
14) There is nothing like love at first sight
15) Never take ANY relationship for granted.
16) Listen to your heart but use your brain.
17) Your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.
18 ) Two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do love each other.
19 ) Perseverance is the key to success
20 ) You shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
21) It takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.
22) No matter how much you care some people just don't care back.
23 )There is a time for everything in life.You cannot get it before.Destiny plays a very important role in life.
24 )Chance is a gift, so act on chance when given the opportunity.
25 ) Your health is your life.
26 ) Be completely responsible and accountable for where you are, who you are and what you are.
27) Get clarity and certainty about what you want and don't want in your life.
28) When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
29) In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
30) Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.

AND DON'T FORGET TO THANK GOD OR THE SUPREME POWER AT LEAST ONCE IN A DAY

Journey from woman to motherhood

Somewhere I read a ...'A woman is not complete till she attains motherhood '..now I feel that its very much true..

My journey towards motherhood started from from the first month of 2008.A new beginning..in a new year.When I first heard the little tingling sound of a tinny heart within me,my heart & soul was filled with millions of emotions & expectations.

All of a sudden my life style started changing in many ways.My GP told me that your first three months are going to give you the most memorable experience of your life.At that time I felt that my GP is trying to be little sarcastic but now I can certainly say she was sarcastic & true. In the first three months the most rocking activity which I have gone through was nothing but throwing up (vomiting & nausea) myself 30 times a day.No medicines... no home remedies..nothing worked...only my will power kept me going through this high tides.I counted each day,each night till end the third month dreaming that this ordeal will end after three months but like all other dreams it was false.For me this ordeal was destined to stay for 9 months.

The second tri-semester started....with some complex medical examination i.e triple marker ,malformation scan etc....we use to wait with extreme eagerness for the report.By god's grace all reports were fine & the baby was doing well.This was relatively a better phase in my pregnancy.All I can say is I ate well,slept well & attained weight.

Now comes the climax period (The Third tri-semester).During this phase I kept on adding weight & an anxiety that now I will get to touch my cutu pie very soon.But ya!time was tough, moving around and going to office was a challenge.Above all the basics challenges like finding my way through IIT Powai Traffic Jam during monsoon climbing a Everest look alike ramp of Office building. At the start of eighth month gradually a weird thing started.Gradually,I started loosing my sleeps during nights.I use to greed for a atleast a nap during day.But had No luck!

At the starting of nine month we went for a final check up.Looking at my condition GP suggested us that a normal delivery is a remote possibility hence it would be better if we opt for a voluntary c-section procedure.Since this was my first child & I was ready to take ANY chances,hence we gave our accord for C- section and fixed a suitable date.

D-day :Finally,I was ready with all my baby supplies packed everything & left for the medical centre that night.I got up early next morning (thanks goes to nurses & mid wives) as I was my procedure was scheduled at 8.30 am in the morning.After some basic preparations & morning routine I was finally taken to the OT.After that whatever happened is not that clear in my memory.Finally,I woke up after mid day & saw my little cute pie wrapped in dark green cloth lying on the baby cradle beside my cot.

That was the most beautiful sight of my life.....


Finally,I was there a woman from last so many years had become a mother....