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The Concept of Arrange Marriage

Friday, July 10, 2009

The concept of arranged marriage may sound impractical to the Western world, but in India, it is a usual norm. No matter how westernized India may have become, arranged marriages are still viewed as the most preferred choice in the Indian families. Love marriage is still considered a taboo in India. Not Only India, in many parts of Asia the concept of Arrange Marriage is practiced. Such marriages had deep roots in royal and aristocratic families around the world, including Europe. Arranged marriages should not be confused with Forced Marriage. Factors which are considered in India in an Arranged Marriage are reputation of the family, Vocation, Wealth, Religion, Caste, Dietary pattern, Language, Horoscope, physical attributes such as height, looks, weight, and age difference and also pre-existing medical conditions.

Modernization Of Arrange Marriages
– The traditional arranged marriage has long been an integral part of the Indian culture. In earlier times, there were marriages where bride and groom were not even allowed to see each other before marriages. But with advent of industrialization, arrange marriages are taking a modern outlook. As against love marriage, it is the concept in which the parents and family members search for the prospective bride or the groom, through their acquaintances or advertisements in newspapers and marriage portals. In the earlier times, with everything being fixed by family members, the bride and groom used to be practically clueless about the person they were marrying. Today the arranged marriage system of India has become more flexible.

• Parents or family members select few proposals through marriage websites, matrimonial advertisements, friends, relatives and keep them forward in front of their children. Then, prospective bride or groom has a lot more say as to who they will eventually marry.
• The prospective candidates can get a chance to know each other by telephone, internet and through series of dates before they decide whether they are right for each other.
• Now the period of courtship is longer, where the prospective candidates are given a chance to know more about each other.
• Parents introduce their child to the prospective spouse. Parents of the children may have spoken to the parents of the potential partner as well, but a strict “no interference” policy is observed. It is up to their children to manage the relationship and come to a decision on their own.

To conclude this post I just recall a saying ‘Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth’


Abhinav Goswami said...

Interesting, but I do not still think that the prospective candidates get a chance to know each other..It is not possible for one to know the other person by few sessions of yahoo chat, or, 15 mins of telefonic conversations on sundays and bank holidays.

Meghana said...

Hi Abhinav,

My post is aimed at decribing the concept of arrange marriage.But ya as every thing as pros and cons,the concept of arrange marriage also has...for example cheating ,encoragement of dowry and some times incompatible marriages.

But then again, there are thousands of love marriages which also fail.rather there are many cases when the couple has known each other from 10 years and after marriage they end up in conflicts.

So,I believe that arrange or love marriage can be successful only if both the partners try to make it.

Do read my earlier post An Institution of marriage and how can communication help in building a strong relationship.These two posts u can find in May 2009 archive also under the label my Journey of Life.

Ravi Matah said...

Arranged marriage or love marriage, either of them can end up in a conflict. There is no specific yard stick with which you can boldly define - yes this will work. No. How does a marriage work? A boy and a girl, totally unknown to each other are joined by the holy wedlock and they start their lives together as total strangers. Slowly they start understanding each other. Love is never a one way traffic and adequate support should be given by one to the other to achieve their individually desired targets.If I may be permitted to say here, there are three steps to peace - in the order of priority.
1. Trust
3. Sacrifice
Follow these three steps and you arrive at the altar of peace. Be proactive, not reactive. Understand each others desires. Then a lot also depends upon how parents have brought up the boy and the girl respectively. Good 'sanskars' is the trump card in a smooth sailing marriage.