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If Marriages are made in heaven, then is Divorce made in Hell ?

Monday, July 13, 2009

To readers of this post,I would recommend to read my earlier posting 'An Institution Of Marriage' and 'How Can Communication Help In Building a Strong Relationship'?.You can find these posts in Archive May 09 or even under the label My Journey Of Life

Divorce, the word that was taboo till sometime back, has today become the easiest solution for people having problems in marital life. Slightest tensions, slightest arguments and married couples are ready to go their separate ways. Divorce or dissolution of marriage is the final termination of a marriage, canceling the legal duties and responsibilities of marriage and dissolving the bonds of matrimony between two persons. Divorce rates are higher in European or American countries, where individual freedom is given higher stress, than in, say, Asian or African ones, where familial and social opinions cause higher stress. With globalization, of course, the developing and under developed countries are catching up. The Common reasons of Divorce are:

• Lack of communication between spouses
• Infidelity
• Abandonment
• Alcohol Addiction
• Substance Abuse
• Physical Abuse
• Sexual Abuse
• Emotional Abuse
• Inability to manage or resolve conflict
• Personality Differences or ‘irreconcilable differences’
• Differences in personal and career goals
• Financial problems
• Different expectations about household tasks
• Different expectations about having or rearing children
• Interference from parents or in-laws
• Lack of maturity
• Intellectual Incompatibility
• Sexual Incompatibility
• Insistence of sticking to traditional roles and not allowing room for personal growth
• Falling out of love
• Religious conversion or religious beliefs
• Cultural and lifestyle differences
• Inability to deal with each other’s petty idiosyncrasies
• Mental Instability or Mental Illness
• Criminal behavior and incarceration for crime
• Nosy Mother in Law (This reason is seen more in eastern countries where the concept of joint family is still prevailing)
• Venereal Disease

There are some reasons where Divorce is unavoidable. But there are lots and lots of reasons that can be sorted out among couples.

Respect your marriage and work together as a team. Divorce may be the easy way out of frustrating relationship, but staying married is worth the effort.
• It’s well said “When people get married because they think it's a long-time love affair, they'll be divorced very soon, because all love affairs end in disappointment. But marriage is recognition of a spiritual identity.
• A good marriage is the union of two forgivers. Remember the three "F"s in a successful marriage.

You are each others "F"riend, give each other "F"reedom and "F"orgive each other at times.

To conclude, Heaven and Hell are two states of mind. When you marry you become happy feels like heaven and when it comes to divorce then we feel sorrow then it feels like Hell. Just to recall one of my favorite quote here,

“My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.”


Anonymous said...

hey i didnt get yours.."An Institution Of Marriage' and 'How Can Communication Help In Building a Strong Relationship" posts....

Meghana said...

Hi Gautam,

An Institution Of Marriage' and 'How Can Communication Help In Building a Strong Relationship" posts are under the label My Journey Of Life posted in the Month Of May 2009.

Shankar said...

I think divorces are increasing because of ego that exist between couples...that would be the main reason..

flo said...

Another good one :).. Finally got time to check out your recent posts.. I agree with almost all reasons for Divorce... I say almost because I am wondering how does Sexual abuse get into the list. And i like the concluding quote. where did u get it?

Take care :)

Meghana said...

Yes Shankar!!!!You are right!!Ego is not only the cause of breaking marriages but also the cause of breaking many other relations.

Thats why its said Value ur any relation more than ur ego.

Sumita said...

Very well written Meghana! In fact I fail to understand that when people are ready to do all sorts of adjustments in their professional Lives...then why can't they do the same in their personal lives. Every relationship needs some bit of adjustment.... if we can't divorce our parents, our siblings...then why at all do we think of divorcing our spouse!

Meghana said...

Exactly!!!!!!! Sumita,when u cannot divorce ur parents your siblings...then why u even think of divorcing your spouse.better sort out.

Meghana said...

Thanks Flo!

Sexual Abuse in marriage is very common but generally it doesn't get reported.

Ahh!!! :) regarding the concluding quote i read this some years back may be on internet and while writing this post it just clicked.

Juhi said...

I guess what couples don't realize is that you have to work to make a marriage/relationship work...
I just love your concluding quote!! keep up the good work!